Sunday, July 22, 2012

Pay no attention to my . . . whatever this is

So I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep.  I suddenly realized that I am totally useless.  All I do is geek around on my computer or ipad.  I have no motivation.  I don't know what I want to do with my life at all. 

Also I feel fat.  I never do anything, like at all.  Again with the motivation thing.  I eat too much and I feel so unhealthy.  There really isn't anything that I can do though.  I can't run, my boobs pretty much prevent that.  I weigh more than my mother, which is a truly depressing thought in itself.  If I compare myself to almost everybody I know I'm very nearly morbidly obese. I hate feeling this way and I know that I shouldn't compare myself to anybody else and all of those other cliches that people spout to make others feel better,but I'm so tired of this.  I hate feeling like this, I hate feeling like I'm not good enough.  Great, now I'm crying.  I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY, GOD PLEASE HELP ME!!!  GOD DAMN IT I'M GOOD ENOUGH, I AM. 

 Why do people call me beautiful?  I have, like, twice in my life ever felt pretty. 

I am so so sorry but I just had to let this out.  I'm sorry.

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